How Heavy is a Giant?

How Heavy is a Fantasy Giant?

Have you ever pondered over the question, “How heavy is a giant or how much can a giant pick up?” If you asked the general populace, you would likely hear a loud refrain: “Anything he wants to!” While that might sound satisfactory, we, the curious gamers, and need to dig deeper and find a scientifically backed answer to this question.

The Complexity of the Question

Upon setting out on this quest for knowledge, we quickly realized that there was no single answer to the query. Like a true endeavor, came up with multiple interpretations and theories. One of the biggest stumbling blocks was the scientific law about doubling the size and cubing the mass. It turns out, nobody know how to quite recall how to apply that rule. So, it remained an unused tool in this arsenal.

The Winning Formula

Ultimately, settled on the most reasonable, albeit incomprehensible, formula derived by the smartest Kobold, King Goldemar. The rest of us might not fully understand the intricacies of his equation, but it seemed to stand up to scrutiny, so we trusted it. King Goldemar based his formula on the torso volume of an average human male, as the torso is the most significant contributor to body mass.

Basis of Calculation

King Goldemar started with an average human male who stands 5’8″ tall, possesses a 38″ chest size, an 18″ torso length, and weighs 180 lbs. He then deduced that this portion of the human body—specifically the torso—accounts for about 35% of the total body weight.

The Diabolical Methods

To go even further, King Goldemar, utilized undisclosed diabolical methods to discover that a cubic foot of a human body weighs approximately 47 lbs. With all this information in hand, he formulated an equation.

Findings

Armed with this new formula, King Goldemar calculated various weights, chest sizes, and torso lengths for giants, potentially changing our understanding of giant physiology forever. Unfortunately, those details are beyond the scope of this article, but keep an eye out for our upcoming paper where King Goldemar will disclose his groundbreaking formula and the exact specifications he derived.

Conclusion

While “anything he wants to” might be a satisfactory answer for some, the relentless curiosity of Kobolds has led us closer to a more accurate understanding of how heavy a fantasy giant might be. We might not have a single, definitive answer, but we are one step closer to unraveling the mysteries of giant physiology, all thanks to the ingenuity of one very smart Kobold named King Goldemar. All praise, King Goldemar!

So the next time you wonder how heavy a giant is, remember, somewhere a group of Kobolds is crunching the numbers to give you a scientifically sound answer.